


Imprint of Feelings

by Crismoire



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crismoire/pseuds/Crismoire
Summary: Natalia is not the standard conditioned Psy, but she has been using Silence as a shield all her life. She doesn't know or want to know a life without that shield, but working with a certain changeling is shattering her ironclad control touch by electrifying touch.Barker Jones is a DR senior soldier. He knows exactly what he wants on a woman. He wants a soft nurturing woman who pets him to no end. He wouldn't mind a strong dominant as long as she enjoyed the petting, but the Psy that keeps confusing him wants to avoid touching him at all costs.Let's hope that working together offers more perspective on their respective journeys.
Relationships: Natalia Nowak/Barker Jones
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 6, the final chapter, is published!  
> Thanks for reading.

CHAPTER 1

Natalia Nowak was not the typical psy. She went through the Protocol without it really sticking and she had to get resourceful to pass as Silent. A 6.4 Tp with a 3.8 Ps ability, she could physically imitate more Silent peers using their psychic imprint to produce expected results almost with no effort, but mimicking brain patterns on the net was a far more complex game. One that she mastered later on, but a dangerous game nonetheless. She kept expecting to be summoned to a Reconditioning Center, that's why she tried to enjoy her life instead of merely surviving. 

When Natalia started working for the former Councilor Nikita Duncan, she never expected to be promoted to personal assistant so quickly. And, perhaps the only reason she got promoted was that she helped uncover the traitor that ultimately died for daring to threaten Councilor Duncan's family. Not that she would ever discuss that fact, the only reason she knew was because her ability to amplify her Psychometry through her Telepathy allowed her to read people sometimes, an undisclosed/forbidden ability. So she would stay quiet, even after the fall of silence, her boss' secrets were her own. Besides, she didn't want her brain leaking through her ears, thank you very much. Although, she suspected the Councilor knew of her observations and perhaps that promotion had been a case of keeping your potential enemies closer. 

In any case, things had gotten better after Sophia and Max started working with the Councilor. Sophia understood Natalia in a way that only a J-psy would. They both at some point experienced memories and emotions from people in ways that, if left to the Protocol only to manage, would have made them mad or gotten them reconditioned. So, Sophie became a mentor and a friend. And, her husband, who Natalia deeply respected, and didn't understand other Psy who didn't, treated her like she imagined he would treat a younger sibling. The only downside was that she needed to work twice as hard to bury her feelings for the couple from prying eyes in and outside of the net. She sometimes needed to trick her-own self into believing to be silent when her emotions ran too high.

Most of the time Natalia accomplished an almost flawless Silence facade, but in order to seem silent, she spent unsustainable amounts of energy that only human and changeling habits could supplement. She was not the only Psy who needed touch and human food to keep her psychic performance, in fact she learned from others how to acquire those basic needs, in appropriate ways that didn't betray her Silent persona.  
Natalia's abilities also seemed to depend on how much and the kind of touch she experienced. She, now, understood that perhaps she had some empathic ability, but this ability she would absolutely not explore because she was not about to lose her job. And, if the Councilor was to keep form since her decisions about her daughter, she would probably exile Natalia all the way to... Russia maybe, and far away from the best bear claws in the world, currently in front of her. 

"Is that all you want today, hun?" Asked the human behind the counter. A sixty-something woman, who enjoyed making her bear claws for her family. Perhaps, that was the reason Natalia enjoyed the treats so much, lowering her shields on every bite, she could sense the motherly love that she had once in her life.

"That's all, Ms. Eller. Thank you." Natalia lifted the sides of her mouth practicing the smile that she wanted to use one day. Her own smile, not a facsimile of someone else's. Ms. Eller beamed at her, appreciating the effort.

"Don't tell me you're out of bear claws, Ms. Eller!"

That voice had Natalia strengthening her shields and relying on her best Silent performance, in this case, touching a package of hers she picked up earlier, she imitated Councilor Duncan. The change was so sudden and extreme that Ms. Eller took a step back. 

"Don't come in here scaring my clients, Barker Jones." The woman turned to chastise the leopard with a raised finger. 

"She doesn't look scared to me," said the man settling right next to Natalia, his arm burning a hole in her own forearm. "Did you get the last claws? What do you want for them?"

Natalia tilted her head as if not understanding the interaction. She needed time to strengthen her shields because the contact was sending her multiple sensual images of dark skin encasing hard muscles moving in a sinuous way. She turned the box around and taking a step away pushed it towards the leopard. "You can have them. I am certain any other pastry would work in their place." He frowned. 

"Non-sense!" Ms. Eller grabbed the box and put it in Natalia's hands again. "You'll wait for the ones in the oven and leave the poor child alone, Barker."

"But, I'm your favorite soldier and I have to get to work..." He pouted. Natalia felt some amusement, but kept it deep under her facade. Natalia decided this was all too dangerous for her, so she put the box in his hands and walked away. 

Barker didn't understand what had happened. Was the beautiful psy Silent or not? Did she care about the situation? He knew who she was, of course. You couldn't be in Sasha's pack without knowing her. She seemed as cold as her boss, but the box in his hands and Ms. Eller's determined defense of her told a different story. 

He moved with the skill of his other self and was in front of a momentarily startled Natalia before she left the store. "Hey, you were supposed to barter with me for this!" She tilted her head again in the exact same way she had done before. Blue eyes with a golden rim focused on him. His leopard scratched the inside of his skin trying to tell him something. "You know. You say: 'what are you offering?' I say 'If you like claws, I can offer claws.' It's a dance."

"You don't really want them?" She asked the suddenly self-focused leopard. "Because it would save me time to take these. Thank you, Mr. Barter." She took the box and left him at the door. She was a good distance away when she heard a yell. 

"It's Barker!" She smiled in her head, and, in a silent whisper, answered him back. "That's not what you just said."

Was she playing with him? He could have sworn he heard a smile on that whisper. And, she had to know he would hear her, right? He had changeling hearing! That's a well known fact. She knew, he would know, that she was playing with his name and the bartering thing he told her. She understood that exchange, right? Great, his thick head was hurting now. And, why was his leopard going crazy about her? So, the girl could rock a pantsuit like no other. But, besides that, her golden skin, her plump lips, and obviously those eyes, he didn't know what his leopard could be so excited about. 

Ms. Eller caught the leopard's arm and brought him back inside the shop. 

"You're letting all the cold in, boy. Come sit and I'll get you some food before you get to work." She sat him down and asked the waitress to bring him breakfast. "You are after all my favorite soldier." She pinched his face with one hand making him his lips pucker.

"I am, aren't I?" He managed to mutter through his pouty lips. Ms. Eller laughed and let go of his face. "What was up with the cute Psy then? Why so much hostility towards this poor kitty?" 

Ms. Eller gave him a motherly look of disapproval before answering. "You scared that girl into going emotionless. Poor dear, it is the only thing she knows to do to protect herself."

"She looked very silent to me" Barker drank the coffee and bit the fresh bear claw that the waitress laid in front of him, rolling his eyes into his head. 

"Well, she's not. That girl stayed with me all night, that night, when I was helping patch all of you up." Ms. Eller shook her head. "She kept watch, Barker, and I'm sure she protected us somehow because she passed out at the end. When she woke up, I gave her the first claw she ever tasted. She ate seven until someone brought in one of those nutrient drinks. I didn't have many ingredients that day, but I made it my purpose to gradually get her to eat a full flavored bear claw." A motherly smile in her face. "That girl loved the first claw I gave her, and she's become addicted to these ones."

"Now, I feel bad."

"As you should." Ms. Eller chuckled. "I'm hoping some of the south bears come to visit soon, so I can introduce her. With her love of bear claws, and the sweet nature of the bears, I think she would benefit from meeting one." 

Barker's leopard didn't like that one bit, his voice coming out a snarl when he asked, to Ms Eller's laugh, if she didn't think he was sweet. 

"Of course you are, my favorite soldier." She patted his cheek. "Now, eat up. You're a growing boy." Then, she walked away from the table piled with pancakes, eggs, bacon, pastries, and coffee that Barker had already decimated. He put the fork to his mouth with a frown, but he didn't know if he was angry or confused. He just hoped, this wasn't the last time he saw the beautiful Natalia Nowak...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is afoot, while Natalia and Barker navigate their feelings.

CHAPTER 2

Natalia kept thinking about the handsome green-eyed cat. She knew not all leopards had green eyes, but it tended to be a common genetic trait. She figured it had to do with the non-scientific reproduction they practiced. 

And, why was she thinking about the leopard and non-scientific reproduction in the same caught breath?

She shook her head off the searing thought and focused on her surroundings. She needed to make sure they could conduct the meeting with the humans and changelings in a secure environment. She didn't have to be aware of violent threats that Max would take care of, but instead she would look for threats that could make the Councilor look weak in any way. This would not be a task for her alone of course, but Sophie, knowing her skills, would usually ask for her help with the first screenings. Then, she would take over the task herself. 

Deep in Dark River territory, the meeting point was a pier, surrounded by standard warehouses and open space, it had no hiding spots or special markings. The place would become a partially underwater hotel, if all the parties agreed, and was far away from prying eyes. 

Still, she closed her eyes to scan for psychic signatures. She found the two Psy in charge of her security the closest, both high-gradient telepaths with minor Tk and M abilities. She was especially cordial with the M-Psy, Jace, although, never had an issue with Loran. She couldn't say she liked them both, out loud, but there was no logical reason for her to not be friendly with them. No, not friendly, cordial, a cordial co-workers relation. 

There were human and changeling minds around her, as she knew there would be during this first security screening, but it wasn't until she felt a light warm brush of a changeling mind that she realized a Dark River soldier was walking towards her. 

"Ms. Natalia Nowak. What a pleasure to see you again!" His voice wrapped around her like the cat he was.

"Mr. Barter." She nodded looking at him brevely, before looking down at her datapad. She had purposely brought a datapad case that once belonged to her boss. She couldn't allow herself to slip-up around the more emotional races, but a slip-up around co-workers was surely a way to lose a lot. 

Then, why was she taunting the cat in the first place? She seriously needed to work on her self-destructive tendencies. 

"It's Barker, remember?" The leopard smiled at her showing dimples. Dimples! And, it was such a boyish smile too. "This is a nice surprise."

"Oh, you mean she's not the reason why you begged. Begged! Lucas to send us here?" Said the pretty female leopard catching up to her cat.

Her cat?!? Where did that come from? She clearly needed to reinforce her shields or borrow from someone. 

"Why don't you go check things over there?" The leopard snarled at the other cat. She left with a laugh and a shake of the head, sending braids every which way, while Barker took a step closer. 

Loran stepped in between them protectively, further infuriating the leopard. Natalia could feel a powerful pull to touch and reassure the leopard, making her need to borrow some control imperative. 

One moment, she stepped around Loran touching his hand and watching the leopard's gaze drawn to the point of contact, and the next she was folded over experiencing pain like she never had before. 

Barker saw her touch the big Psy, not big enough that he couldn't still break him in half if he wanted to. Why was she touching him? Weren't Psy against touching? And, if not, why didn't she touch him? He was more fun to touch, wasn't he? He would certainly not hurt her with a touch!

He moved with his animal's instinct at the same time that the other Psy moved towards her to render aid, but the moment the second Psy touched her she went down. Barker had his hand under her head before she hit the floor.

"You shouldn't touch her." Like hell he wouldn't! "She is a Ps-Psy in overload. Touch could be detrimental to her current state." Said the Psy who was not a Tk, the first one assessing threats around them that could've explained Natalia's crash. "I am currently evaluating her medical status." 

An M-Psy. Still. "I'm not moving." Barker gritted his teeth, feeling the tension in her Psy's muscles. He touched her face and for a moment she looked relieved. For a moment, she focused on him and moved her lips in a silent plea.

"Fine. I'll go. Do not move her. We're still in Dark River territory." He moved away just enough to call reinforcements and in a matter of minutes, the two Psy had been apprehended and moved to a medical facility somewhere. At the same time, her Psy had received a Psynet assist and was breathing significantly better. 

"Hey there, sleepyhead." He cooed softly. "I didn't know Psy allowed naps in the middle of the work day. That must be nice." Gold rimmed blue eyes stared at him with a warm smile in them.

He smiled and the world seemed brighter. She wanted to tell him how beautiful he was. She wanted to thread her fingers through the dark brown of his hair. She could see him purring inside her mind. She could almost feel his pleasure at being touched, and all she wanted was to tell him to take all he wanted.

"You are touching me." She said instead. "Why?"

He removed the hand he had on the back of her head, when she started to sit up. She could feel the imprint of that hand and that of the tiny circles he was drawing with his thumb. Their absence was disconcerting. She felt cold. She felt empty.

"It seemed to help the first time." He shrugged.

"It did." She recognized. "Thank you."

"For touching you? Anytime, sweetheart." He gave her a naughty smile that she wanted to taste. 

She shook her head. She really needed to get away from this leopard. He was threatening the tight control she needed to keep on herself. 

"No." She breathed out. "Thank you for not questioning me when I told you to take Jace and Loran." 

"Friends of yours? What they'd do, then?" He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"It's not what they did. It's what was done to them." She stood up, grabbed her datapad, and walked towards the back of the SUV. "I will contact someone to pick the car, later. I need to go."

"Now, hold on. I think I need more information than that." He softly grabbed her hand to her wince. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… The M said you are a Ps, but I thought Ps-Psy could only read things."

"I'm a special case." She said dryly. "I saw them being tortured to break their shields. They were programmed. I need to know why."

Barker's leopard didn't like the way she said that. "So, they are close friends of yours." He raised an eyebrow. "Well? Aren't you going to answer?"

"You didn't ask a question." She said with that tiny smile in her voice that told him she was playing with him.

"I did. You didn't see the question mark? It was right in my eyebrow. See?" He raised his eyebrow and traced it forming a question mark. She pursed her lips almost imperceptibly. 

"I see. Perhaps next time you could use grammar properly in order to avoid confusion." He knew she was playing now. There was no way she was doing anything else. And, if she could play, she could laugh, and perhaps even enjoy herself with a leopard. As soon as they could solve the touching issue, of course. 

Curse his luck to be catnip for young female changelings, they liked exploring with touch, and he got used to it. Perhaps he would have been more patient for a Psy mate if he had been more guarded, like Lucas and Vaungh, or if he had had more issues, like Dorian or Hawke. He wasn't patient or complex, he wanted a mate to pet and who petted him, among other things. And, this Psy was clearly not it, right?

She tilted her head again in that way that unnerved his leopard, and with an unwavering look opened her mouth. "I have to go now. Thank you, again."

That's not what he thought she was going to say. "I'll work on the grammar. I think I still have some grade school textbooks around. Or maybe the cubs can help. Thank you." He gave him his best smile and saw her disappear into thin air, not before those blue eyes closed a fraction in a minute expression of amusement and something else. He watched the ocean behind her now, but he still considered her blue more tempting. What would those eyes look like when his hands were holding onto those black, silky, sex-mussed locks?

Oh, he would have blue dreams after that look. Very blue...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia has her priorities straight, but it is common knowledge that the animal knows best...

CHAPTER 3

Waiting at a holding medical facility, Natalia could not understand how she lost so much control around that leopard. Again. She was used to changelings, cats even more so, and she was used to staying in control, through anything. Yet, she all but teased the cat. She shook her head. She will not taunt him. She will not see him. She would stop thinking about Barker Jones and she would stop immediately. This little obsession of hers was over. Over. Her priority had to be Jace and Loran. 

"He is cooperating, but he's still confused about what happened." The M-Psy came out of Jace's room to tell her. "We can see psychic scars of what they did to him, but his confusion makes us think that either his handler is an expert covering tracks, or, he was in a fugue state when he was tortured."

"That's why you are seeing him. You didn't treat Loran."

"The Tk was a more straightforward case of hurt and forget. It seems he was just collateral damage to get to your M friend." 

"Co-worker." Natalia clarified. "What is the next step, then?"

"We have two experts nearby who might be able to identify the injury to determine the treatment." 

"Can he receive visits?" 

"Not currently, no. He flammed-out scouring his mind for backdoors and repairing some of the damage himself after we pointed it out." The doctor rubbed her forehead.

"I wouldn't disrupt him." 

"We don't allow visits when our patients are not conscious." The doctor answered the statement as the question it was intended to be. "You can see your other colleague now, come back in a couple of days for this visit."

Natalia nodded and followed the doctor through the elevator, to the lower level where Loran was currently resting. 

"Nowak. I must apologize." He sat up as soon as Natalia entered the room, having recovered from his own ordeal. "My job is to protect you. I failed."

"The apology should come from me, Loran." She sat down by his bed. "I touched you without asking. I sent you here."

"No apology necessary. You freed me." He closed his eyes solemnly. "What's the status on Montero?" 

"Jace is exhausted. It seems he was the one to be programmed." Natalia considered the attack. "This had to have happened recently, Loran. In a place where you were together, but away from others." The normally stoic man seemed to blush and become fidgety. "I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"S'okay, Nowak. It's not the first time you touch either of us. We just don't talk about it." He started to extend his hand towards her and stopped himself midway. "I don't want to hurt you again."

"You won't. I'll be prepared this time." She could be in absolute control as long as there were no cats around messing with her head. 

Natalia braced herself and took Loran's hand exhaling loudly. She felt his worry for the other man. His love. She moved past the memories of them after their weekend leave. She found the moment she was looking for. Loran removed his hand from hers abruptly. She looked at him wondering.

"Breathe, Nowak." He demanded. "This affects you. I can tell."

"It's a temporary effect." The cat was still in her mind.

"We should not repeat this until it passes." 

She nodded. "You were attacked coming back to your cabin. An organized unit teleported to your rental." Natalia shook her head and tried to even her breath. "They took you out first thinking you, the bigger threat, but there was something about Jace. You felt something strange… I… I need to read Jace."

"Nowak, I, more than anyone, want to figure out what happened to Montero," Loran sighed, "but, again, our job is to protect you."

"Don't give me that emotional crap now, Label. We're Psy. We're logical. We need the information before the program in him runs."

"Then be logical, Nowak. As Duncan's assistant, you are the perfect gateway for undermining the Ruling Coalition, perhaps, even Trinity itself. And, Jace and I are your security team. What logic tells you it is safe to be around Jace right now?"

Natalia opened her mouth and closed it again.

"You are the one who is letting your true self show. Be careful."  
Loran rested back on the bed and nodded to the door."Your temporary escort is here."

She knew. She felt him. She felt that psychic signature wrap around her again. Possessive. Marking. 

"And, to what, Mr. Barter, do I owe the honor of your presence?" She said without turning, wanting to put the possessive cat back in his place.

"A friend asked Dark River for a favor while your guys were out being searched for bugs." He answered slowly, arms crossed, back leaning against the door jamb.

"I can think of multiple replacements within our Psy security team. Why send you to me?" She asked calmly, anchoring herself on the words of his friend.

"I meant, all your guys are out for a check-up. Max asked DR for a changeling unit. And, I volunteered to come to you." Of course, he did. He shrugged as she finally looked at him while raising one eyebrow. He stared back at her defiantly while letting that dimpled grin spread slowly through his face.

"I see. Let us go to the office, then." She walked out of the room, and then, the building without talking, keeping her distance. Her control, an iron fist around a heart that wanted to gallop. She knew a changeling could hear her pulse, scent her physiology. She will not let him know what he did to her. She was in control. She had done it before. She could endure the most demanding circumstances for a few minutes. 

Unfortunately, his mere presence moved her deeper than any previous experience. No. She was going to slip-up. She'd already had to expend more psychic energy than ever before, outside of battle.

"Buckle up!" The leopard said, flowing into his seat. And, she better did, because that marble sculptured man had left quite the psychic imprint on his car. 

She had come out of the building, walked with him to the car, and gotten in, but then, she froze. She was touching the seat, palms open, so, perhaps she was getting some reading out of it. He thought to be helpful and buckle her up, but as soon as he put his left hand in the belt and right hand in the buckle, she snapped out of it. He felt a barrage of emotion. Her heartbeat sped-up. His leopard pushed him to see her, and this time, he was the one frozen.

"I see you." The golden rim of her eyes moved like engulfing flames bracing the blue ocean. 

"And I, you." She said softly, before the gold receded leaving a peaceful lake behind. Just like that, she was locked down inside herself again. No more speeding heartbeat, jagged breath, or lusty scent. She was Nikita Duncan's assistant. Cold. Silent. "Contrary to what you are clearly used to, not all females enjoy being accosted in a car seat."

"Sorry." He secured her seatbelt and went back to his seat. "Just trying to help." He raised both hands with his palms out. "Although from here, it seemed like you were enjoying it." 

He provoked her on purpose before turning on the car and sliding into traffic. She seemed to be gathering her thoughts for a moment. 

"An unfortunate biological side effect of your activities in this car, I'm afraid." She parroted.

"Bull!"

"I beg your pardon?" 

"I think, Ms. Nowak, that you find me attractive. Charming even." He pushed.

"I don't know why your general physical symmetry or delusional beliefs would factor into my biological reactions."

"Are you wondering, Nat?" He smiled confidently. He kept reminding himself that Natalia was not the cold Psy she pretended to be. Her relationship with Ms. Eller and even those two Psy idiots, showed her a caring person. Her eyes, like the ocean, hid a thousand secrets. But, the most important part was that his leopard wanted her, and it was common knowledge that the animal knew better.

"What would I be wondering?"

"Why you find me irresistible, of course." He kept catching her microexpressions from quick glances. Annoyance. Amusement. There was even laughter somewhere in that closely guarded face. "It's ok. I understand. It happens a lot."

She raised both her eyebrows and watched him in challenge, her mask slipping. He had her now. He pushed further, while his leopard stood in pride having caught his prey. "Clearly because of your inexperience with skin privileges, you cannot recognize what you are feeling about me."

Her heartbeat strong and fast, her breath heavy, she clenched her teeth and let him see the, very unsilent, nature of hers. Deciding, wisely, to drop her mask once and for all. She turned her body, face unyielding, and muttered words that had him turning the car into the woods.

"Who said I am inexperienced?" 

Just like that, she was in control of their interactions again. Although, this time he knew it was her, the real Natalia, the one who burned hot in anger, and, he'd bet, hotter in pleasure. He licked his lips tasting her scent. 

Safely parked in the middle of the woods, he undid his seatbelt and turned to her. "I'm talking naked skin privileges, Nat. Are you saying you have exchanged those with someone before?"

"And, what is it to you, Mr. Plenty-of-women-want-me?"

"I am a changeling, it's in our nature. Touch is a part of our very being."

"What do you think touch is for a Ps-Psy?" 

She was closer to him than even she realized, but her body was deliciously reacting to him. He licked his lips again. "Well, we changelings do things very differently than Psy. That, I can assure you." 

She raised her eyebrow defiantly, turning her kissable mouth a little. "Oh, I know all the differences between Psy and Changelings when it comes to Naked. Skin. Privileges." 

He kissed her. He just had to. She was so close and her body was giving all the right signals. And for him, there was nothing sexier than a woman in charge of her own sexuality. It wasn't a soft kiss either. He craved her in his bones and needed some reprieve. He stopped only when she put her hand in his chest and with jagged breaths asked him to stop. He did, immediately.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think I read that wrong." He moved back giving her space.

"You didn't." With her hand still on his chest, she managed to put more space between them. "It's my net shields. I'm having trouble keeping them stable. It has never happened before. I'll need some time." Pleading blue eyes with golden flames stared at his own leopard-golden eyes.

"Time." He nodded once, the leopard in agreement with the wait if it would protect its mate. "But, this is not over. Not by a long shot. Not now."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Halloween tension release...

CHAPTER 4 

It had been a week since the kiss that branded Natalia, Loran had returned to his post and Jace had been in and out of consciousness, searching, being searched. Natalia thought that when Barker agreed to give her time, he would disappear from her life entirely. She was convinced that such a sexual being could not wait around for a girl who shied from one kiss. She was wrong.

Barker Jones had been calling, texting, and leaving surprises at her doorstep every day. Mostly food, flowers, and products that engaged her sense of touch. She could see his care and playfulness every time she touched one of his gifts. She saw how he took the time to entice her, purposely using her own skill on his pursuit. She almost felt like he was with her all the time, which was comforting in a way, but also terrifying. And, it was annoying too because he was clearly not giving her time away from him. Well, at least he was not physically around. That could be problematic.

She reached the old four story building that housed her apartment. If she was honest with herself, she was excited about finding something sweet at her doorstep. She had been passing by children in full costumes asking for treats. She was sure her cat would leave her some treats today. In fact, she realized she was expecting them. What she was not expecting, however, was the brown spotted golden leopard sunning himself in the hallway window by her apartment.

"Barker Jones." She said softly, unsure if the cat was actually sleeping. Gold leopard eyes stared at her and it was not the first time she felt the stirring inside her under that gaze. She cleared her throat. "What are you doing here?"

The leopard got up and grabbed a bag between its teeth leading her to her door. She opened the door and the leopard made its way inside putting its load on the coffee table. He had brought her bear claws. Her favorite bear claws. Something inside of her burst. 

She was frozen with her door opened, not giving him a chance to shift. Because he was not about to give her neighbors a show. So, he moved towards her and gently grabbed her jacket with his teeth pulling her towards the apartment. Her breath caught and he had to consciously force himself to ignore her body's response in order to close the door. His leopard loved her response, though. It wanted to rub itself up and down her body and mark her with its scent.

She felt like prey as soon as Barker, in his gorgeously wild leopard form, closed the door. The way she was looking at him had her fighting for control. Did she want to control this? She didn't know anymore. The cat prowled towards her and she dropped to her knees. She grabbed the head of the beautiful beast between her hands and whispered.  
"You are just glorious." 

She was looking into the golden eyes of a leopard, when the light ruptured into all the colors of the spectrum and where she was holding fur, she now felt skin. She'd heard about this. She knew that it took a deep level of trust for her to be able to not only witness, but touch, a changeling in-shift. Her leopard had just given her the most amazing gift. 

"How about now?" 

She twisted her lips a little. "You still are." She played with him. Golden eyes locked on her, he asked permission for a kiss, not by talking, but she nevertheless understood the question. She nodded and just like the first time, he dived for her and gave her everything she never thought she needed. 

Man, he had done something right today. He didn't know what it was, maybe she really loved those bear claws. But whatever it was, thank heavens he did it, because his mate was finally touching him like he'd always imagined she would. It was sudden and intense, but who was he to question her. 

"Natalia, wait." Why would he say that, he didn't want to wait. 

"It's okay. I know why you chose today. I can see the colorful stars on the net. The empaths' halloween project is a success, and any change I suffer will be attributed to the holiday." She reassured him, moving her hands from his shoulders to his arms, then his chest. Soothing. Petting. 

"Yeah." He shook his head trying to clear it. His mate's wandering hands were not helping. "I was going to ask you to check, but I want to make sure you won't be vulnerable there, Nat."

"I won't be. Nobody will suspect I'm not doing things on purpose." She ran her gaze over him and her eyes got impossibly more aflame. "Now, come on. Bring the claws and follow me. I can see we have similar things in mind."

He jumped her. He had her against the wall and her jacket was already off, but it was still too slow for him. "You have other clothes, right?" He unleashed his claws. 

She danced out of the way and grabbed the bear claws. "Not here." She repeated and walked away. He hoped she was taking him to her bedroom. 

She had been on the hallway leading to the kitchen of the very ordinary Psy apartment, when he saw her. "Are you seriously going to eat the claws, right now?" He asked the empty kitchen. "Where the…?"  
He caught her scent around a wall. A fake wall. He climbed the stairs and reached a proper home, a changeling dwelling. It was the green roof cabin that he had seen from the outside. "I knew it! You are more changeling than Psy, Natalia Nowak."

She watched him take inventory of her true home. He watched the green roof through the wall to wall window, noticed her delicious food in the pantry and cupboards, saw his flowers rest in vases on the tables, and felt the rugs and plush furniture. "And, you're a cat!" He finally announced passing his finger through the fluffy throw on top of her sofa. She tried again that smile that all his gifts had had her trying. He lunged at her lifting her in his arms. She squealed. She didn't know she could do that. 

He took them to her bedroom and put her down beside her bed kissing her deeply. Then, with three strategic slashes of his claws, she was left in her underwear. She pushed him to her bed with a gasp and he went down laughing. She slid down her underwear and climbed on top of him. She kissed him with increasing need until they were fused to each other and not close enough.

He turned them around and slowly rocked into her, delighted in the feeling of her around him. She cried out, but not in pain, so he started to move, slow at first and then enjoying his mate's sweet surrender. She started trembling, her face a shocked expression.

"Natalia? You said you had done this before, I wouldn't have-" she put her hand on his mouth shutting him up. 

"I have." She gasped. "Not like this. Never like this." She kept breathing hard. "It's too much. Too overwhelming. I can't… I can't focus. I can't think!" 

"You're not supposed to think, sweetheart." He watched her sweetly. "Just feel, Nat. Let go."

Let go? Was the man insane? She'd never let go before. She would probably be changed forever if she did. But, was that such a bad thing when a leopard was watching her with both hunger and care while rocking her body into oblivion?

"It's okay, Nat. Let go. I've got you!" She was still wondering how he knew what she was thinking, when her body started to buil-up. She knew what this was, she had felt much lesser versions of it in the past. This was the moment she typically started to close herself up to avoid giving herself away, but she couldn't. Her shields in shambles, she was feeling his devotion. She could never close up to him, she had to give him all she was. She had to let go. 

As she did, a powerful barrage of emotions slammed into her chest. It was him. It was Barker. She could feel him inside her. Her mate. The realization brought them both over the edge, finally collapsing limply on the bed. 

"So, I'm guessing you're stuck with me now, right?" She used her own voice with her mate after a while. He laughed that unabashed laugh of his.

"I guess I am." He nodded. "You had to have an inkling of what was going on, hadn't you?"

"I guess I felt it when I first heard your voice, but I was not ready for all of this. I mean, wow!" 

"See," he lifted his body sideways resting on his elbow, "you say that, but you had also said that you had experience with changelings. We're not that different."

Natalia mirrored his position. "But, you kinda are since you're my mate and all." He kissed her. Hard. "So, you like me saying that I'm yours."

"Unless you're ready to go again, don't tease me woman!" She smiled with her eyes and he saw the gold dancing in her eyes. "So, you were keeping yourself away while sharing skin privileges with cats?"

"It was the only way to stay safe. Your kind are curious, especially the tourists, but they probably think that we are as cold as ice in bed."

"That used to be the rumor, yes. But, that was before Sasha and Faith, and Ashaya." Natalia raised an eyebrow. "Not that we talk about it, but you can tell from the men's faces and their interactions with Pack."

"Life just changed forever didn't it?" He kissed her forehead and hugged her as an answer. 

The emotions kept swirling around her head while she re-built some of her shields with the assistance of the mating bond. She decided to look at herself in the Psynet and saw the wild green flames that surrounded her own star. It didn't look out of place. Not today, but what would it look like tomorrow? What would she look like now that she was officially branded body, soul, and mind?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia and Barker find themselves in danger of losing their future, thanks to an old enemy's plot.

CHAPTER 5

Barker was not happy to be in a sort of hospital for Psy, but he was a recently mated changeling, and there was no way in hell he would leave his mate alone with a man who had hurt her before. "Remind me again why we left that very comfortable and fun bed to come see another man?" Her face was a mask of control, but he felt her laughing inside of him.

"You mean Jace? From Jace and Loran?" Now, he felt her mocking. 

"Okay. First, I didn't know they were 'Jace and Loran.' And second, this mocking-your-mate business will get you in trouble." 

"Is that so?" His mate asked in a way that he now knew was challenging. Certainly playful. 

"Let's go home! You'll see!" Her eyes went lake-still and he felt her worry. 

"They are bringing Memory and Sienna to talk to Jace later today and I need to see him before that happens. Also, I might be able to justify changes to myself right now, but it won't be easy later."

"Okay. How can I help?" He just wanted to ease her burden. He could feel all of her now. He didn't know how her skills would affect her, but he knew she wasn't worried about that. So, he would worry for her.

"I don't know what you'll feel once I'm in Jace's head."

"I can handle emotions, Nat. I'll try to help you do that too."

Her mate was worried, and she didn't want to cause him worry, but she needed to do this. Since her involuntary reading of Jace that first time, she had the feeling she was needed to unearth this mystery. 

She entered Jace's room with her mate following closely. "Jace."

"Hey, Nat." Her friend looked tired, but he betrayed a tiny smile. "How's the outside world? Anything new?" He looked towards Barker. 

"That obvious?" 

"Only to people who have felt it." He fidgeted with his blanket. "How is he?"

"Back at work. Doing his best to avoid bursting out of this place." Natalia reached for Jace's hand and he moved it away. "Jace you know I could help."

"It hurt you once. I don't want to hurt you. Or anyone for that matter." 

"Well, then you need this as much as I do. I have borrowed extra strength this time." She looked at her mate, who was standing guard by the door. "Come on. We don't have much time." She grabbed her friend's hand and immediately felt the pain. It was strong, focused, and invading, but her leopard was there with her inside her mind. She was fine, he was holding her. She found the moment she needed in Jace's memories. He was stronger. He had caused vessel blockages to some of his assailants before they subdued him. She didn't know he could manipulate something so small so precisely. She saw his pride for a second merging on his worry for his partner. Then, she could feel his anger at being violated, his disgust at the task he was asked to perform. How could that be possible? She needed out. They had answers now. She felt Psy and changeling minds appearing close by. Too close. They were too close.

"Barker! Memory and Siena cannot come in. Siena is the target. Memory could be too." She was gasping and her leopard hesitated. 

He didn't want to go. He knew he could be an overprotective idiot as he had been accused of more than once. In his defense, the majority of those accusations had come from younger dominants whose overconfidence matched their inexperience. He was working on it, he had been for a while, letting them deal with their own consequences. Still, his job was to protect and he was leaving his heart. But he had to, his mate was a grown woman who could take care of herself. She was not a Junior soldier he needed to teach, her mate deserved his trust, and he would trust her. "Go, go!" She urged, and he did.

"What did you see Nowak?" Jace stared at her. "Did you see him?"

Still touching her friend, Natalia felt herself sucked into a memory. A memory of Ming LeBon. "If she sees me, you know she is the one." He was telling Jace. Natalia struggled to breathe, Barker was also in distress. This was an unauthorized visit and the wolves didn't trust easily. Jace pulled her hand. 

"I think you saw him, Nowak." He sounded almost cheery. This was not her friend. She needed distance. "You know what that means." Yeah, she knew. The physical pain in her abdomen gave her a clue. She used her Tp ability to disrupt his signal on her body. If she could only amplify her Telepathy like she could her Ps, she could defend herself. If she could gain her Ps gradient in Tp she would be cardinal level and capable of seriously injuring her attacker. She felt nauseous.

Of course, she didn't want to hurt her friend. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She couldn't, she was an empath. She was an empath. A low gradient empath, but perhaps she could push emotions into Jace. Sasha had done it once, but she was a cardinal, and she scrambled some brains in the process. Maybe she could manage a version of it through amplification. She would have to stop disrupting Jace's signal for that, however. 

Gathering her power and courage, Natalia reached for her mate before switching her Tp into an amplifier. She felt his love and devotion, his emotions were powering her amplifier and her E ability shoot beyond the scale. Love was making her better and perhaps love would also help Jace. She brought all the images she had off Jace and Loran and infused them with the love she had felt between them, she pushed out to Jace and saw him flinch. 

"That's it, Montero. Find him." She purposely reminded him of Loran's name for him. 

Jace fisted his hand and she felt the physical pain in her abdomen intensify. Something clicked and she felt the E ability grow impossibly bigger. She focused on images of Jace and Loran. She saw them walking together hand by hand. She saw them sneaking glances and touches when surrounded by others. She felt Loran's telepathy touching her. She let him in. He sent clips of moments with his partner, strengthening her efforts. She knew it was her mate's doing. Jace grabbed his head with both hands and finally her abdomen stopped hurting. She slumped over the bed when Jace's head fell forward. 

Barker felt her exhausted, but no longer in danger. He motioned to the Psy who'd gotten to the hospital in the middle of his argument with the wolves. It had been hard to dissuade them to go, even requiring a call to Lucas, but in the end the Psy felt the struggle and were transported out leaving a single arrow behind. Barker and Loran burst through the door and went to their own partners. 

Barker was scared when he saw his mate against the bed. He knew she was stronger, but she didn't look like it at the moment. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and hold her tight. She gave him a tiny smile and he did just that. 

He sat on a nearby sofa with her mate on his lap using touch to anchor her, to heal her. He didn't know what she went through, but he felt her throughout. He gave her everything she asked for and asked Loran to assist her. His leopard knew the other man was the only one who could help her.

He didn't know how long they had been wrapped against each other when the arrow approached.

"Ms. Nowak. I apologize for the interruption, but with Mr. Montero unconscious, I must ask you about the threat."

"There's no threat here. Jace fixed it himself, after he overcame his programming." She sat on the sofa by herself and Barker's cat wanted to snarl. He barely contained the sound, but his mate still gave him a warning look. "I realize you still need to check, but I ask you to treat him with respect. Look for Ming LeBon markers, he is the one responsible."

Barker caught the microexpressions of anger in the otherwise in control arrow. "What did he want?"

"Genetic material." His mate touched the sides of her belly. This time he didn't stop the snarl. She put her hand on his thigh and gently soothed him while using the mating bond to tell him she was fine. To send calming loving vibes. "He wants to steal strong Psy's genetic material to create super soldiers even if it takes him a few years to reap results. It seems he's not above using children for war."

"He has never been." The arrow responded bitterly and he felt his mate try to soothe the arrow. The arrow shook his head. "I apologize again. You need your rest. I'm sure the empathic council will contact you shortly." He teleported out.

Suddenly, on the table besides the sofa, a box appeared full of hot flavored nutrient drinks and nutrient bars. He picked up the note.

"Recover. Rest. We'll talk soon. Ivy Jane Zen."

"Why would they--? Natalia, can you check yourself in the net?" She closed her eyes without delay. 

"Your green flame is iridescent now." He felt her astonishment. "I wish you could see it. It's so beautiful." She opened her eyes.

"I see the flames, sweetheart." He smiled. "Translucent, reflect light like a rainbow. They are indeed beautiful." She tilted her head to the side and this time the expression of confusion was genuine. He loved her. 

He was laughing at her. No, that's not right. He was laughing because he was happy. That made her happy. "Let's go home. I believe there was something you needed to show me there." She teased and her leopard had her off the sofa and in his arms in no time. Happiness. This was what it actually felt like and what was worth everything that would come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barker and Natalia's end of the beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me until now. The comments section is open. Tell me what 'orphan' (barely mentioned, not likely to get a story) character would you like me to write about next.  
> Thanks again!

CHAPTER 6 

Barker finished his com-call and waited for Natalia to open her eyes. He sure was never going to get tired to look into those flaming blue eyes. How had he gotten so lucky?

"What?" Her eyes were still closed. He smiled. "I can feel you, you know?"

"Yeah?" He asked when his Psy opened her eyes and tilted her head. 

"The way you watch me. The way I feel you. I used to feel that from my parents when I was a child. I feel an imprint of it from Ms. Eller's claws, her family helps her with those. It's not love, I've felt imprints of love, it's deeper, more intense." He took some loose strands of her hair and tucked them behind her ear.

"Ah, see, my baby empath, there are different types of love. This is the the-world-means-nothing-without-you kind. You were a lucky Psy if your folks felt that way. They die?"

"I wish," she twitched her mouth in a sad smile, "their families turn them to the council. They were reconditioned. I never saw my dad again, but mother was around. She was never my mom again. She doesn't even recognize me. My mother's mother took over my raising." He put his mate in his lap. Protecting her. She smiled with her eyes.

"I feel that too." She petted his chest. "I know it must have been hard for you to overcome your protective nature in order to leave me in that room. And, I really appreciate your faith in me." 

"We're mates, Nat. We are what we need from each other. If I hadn't needed an equal, the cat would have probably chosen a long time ago." 

"Is this you showing off again or am I going to have to set some cubs straight at our mating ceremony?" He just had to laugh. He knew she was more than she was showing herself to be out there, but he hadn't known how amazing his mate would turn out to be.

"Speaking off," he told her, lying down on the floor, with a lingering smile and she vowed she'd do anything to make him smile as often as possible, "that was Sasha on the phone, she and Tammy want to discuss things with you, now that you, and I quote, 'have officially come out and mated a cat.'"

"What does that even mean?" She shook her head.

"Beats me." Her cat shrugged. "Maybe she'd always known you were an empath, or a cat." He rubbed himself on the rug. "Now, you are officially, and publicly, both."

"Oh. I am, aren't I." She panicked. "Well, it's a good thing that Ivy Jane Zen, just offered me training as an empath because I will surely lose my job now." At his confused expression, she clarified. "My boss is the woman who disavowed her own daughter for being an empath after she mated a cat." 

"Ahhhm, I see." But, she didn't think he did because his side of the bond was as calm as always. "She is not who she once was, and I think you know that better than anyone." 

"It doesn't matter. I know she needs to make sure her ruthless image doesn't suffer. Even if it means sacrificing her insignificant assistant for the greater good." 

"Are you talking about hurting you?" Now, she felt something from his cat. Awareness. Protectiveness with a layer of his own ruthlessness. 

"No, no, of course not." She shook her head and petted her mate. "Sophie and Max wouldn't let her. She would just fire me, since she cannot send me away now that I'm with you." Her mate relaxed and petted her back. 

"You are a powerful empath to take on a programmed Psy like that. I think anyone would appreciate that skill." 

"Like I just told Ivy, I think the only reason that worked was because I know Jace personally." But, he was trying to make her feel better because he loved her, and that was a treasure worth losing any job. "Although with all these changes in my life, perhaps it was time for a new job anyways." Her cat gave her a sweet smile.

"I would suggest begging Ms. Eller for a job, but you would probably bankrupt that poor lady, eating all the stock." She playfully batted at his wall of a chest and he laughed that beautiful infectious laugh of his. She didn't know what he saw in her eyes at times like this, but it always made her feel that intense devotion of his. 

"That sounds highly inaccurate Mr. Barter." She used her Silent voice. "Only bear claws are known to suffer instant teleportation into my stomach."

"I see." He moved her hair away from her shoulders and started kissing her neck and shoulders. "Is that your way of saying you love those bear claws?" His breath was on her ear. 

"If it were," her voice trembled a little, "I would say that you, Mr. Barker Jones, senior soldier of Dark River, suffered a sudden and irreversible teleportation into my soul." He kissed her hard, laying her on top of him. Her thin slip suddenly felt too hot. She wanted it off her body. She sat up to take it off when her personal comm started ringing. 

Was she thinking about answering? Now? Didn't she understand the need he had to brand her? To make her his? She couldn't just tell him she loved him all silent like that and not expect his leopard to pounce her. The comm didn't sound long, but the message light came on regardless. 

"Could be important…" 

"We'll let the message play if you promise not to move." Intense green rainbow flames encasing blue eyes fixated on him.

"I would think you would like me to move here, wouldn't you?" The evil Psy started rocking her hips sending his rational thoughts out the window. Then, she almost made a run for it. His leopard pounced.

"I don't think you want to hear that message, Natalia." He told his prey now that he had her under him wrapped around his waist. 

"Or, I just wanted to distract you enough so I could grab the comm." She held the device up in her hand with that tiny lift of her lips and dancing eyes that he knew was a proud smile. 

"Ohh, we're playing the distraction game, uh?" He started kissing his way down distraction-lane. She still managed to play the message, so he proceeded to use bigger distraction practices such as strategically placed fangs, claws, and licks.

"Hey Nowak, you're not picking up so you're either in your rooftop cabin or with your cat. Anyways, Montero and I wanted to say thanks, and we owe you. Also, the boss asked me to tell you that you shouldn't come to the office next week. She is sending you to Russia." 

"What?" He stopped distracting her. There was some rustling on the phone.

"It doesn't matter." His mate softly panted. "I love you, and there's nothing for which I'd change this. She cannot force me to go anywhere." She kissed him and her soft dominant kiss marked him. 

"I love you too, Nat." He kissed and touched and petted and she was feeling great.

The phone message started playing again.

"Sorry about that, Nowak. Loran leaves out important details. Duncan is promoting you to deal with human-changeling enterprises, but she also wants you to go train with an arrow-empath in Russia. We will be waiting when you get back. And Nowak, thanks again."

"Do you want me to go to Russia with you?" Her leopard smiled against her mouth as he kissed her. 

"I want you with me always." She told her heart. "Now, let's make sure all those baby changelings know who you belong to." She bit him hard on the shoulder and her mate's groan echoed in the cabin. 

"Ditto." Golden eyes locked with hers before going above her breast to bite her. It was intense. Erotic. It was the perfect prelude to the intense marking that came for both of them that weekend. They bit, and loved, and tasted each other until they were sated, and still, they knew they would never get enough of each other. 

Now Barker Jones, senior soldier of Dark River, and well known dallier cat had his beautiful, smart, and talented Psy mate. And, she would never feel the need to pretend to be Silent again. His mission now, more than protecting his pack, was to give his Psy a true taste of love, happiness, life. So, that she never felt the need to live out of imprints of feelings.


End file.
